You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married
and wish you were dead.
__________
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
“Aren’t you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
“Yes, I am. I married the
wrong man.”
__________
A lady
inserted an ad in the classifieds:
“Husband Wanted”.
Next day she received a
hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
“You can have mine.”
________
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge
than to let her keep him.
________
A woman is incomplete until
she is married. Then she is finished.
_________
A little boy asked his father,
“Daddy, how much does it cost
to get married?”
Father replied, “I don’t know
son, I’m still paying.”
__________
A young son asked,
“Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn’t know his wife
until he marries her?”
Dad replied, “That happens in
every country, son.”
__________
Then there was a woman who said,
“I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.”
__________
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every
word you say — talk in your sleep.
__________
Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
__________
First guy says, “My wife’s an angel!”
Second guy remarks, “You’re
lucky, mine’s still alive.”