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These classifieds actually ran in a 

Minneapolis newspaper – a few smiles for your day…
 
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!
 
FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.
 
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog..able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
 
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out awhile.
Better be a big reward..
 
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
 
NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
 
GEORGIA
PEACHES

California grown – 89 cents/lb.
 
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.
 
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
 
And the best one?:
 
FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 
volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer.
No longer needed, Got married last month… husband knows everything.
 

 

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